Ouch, why does something so innocent hurt so much? I spent a good portion of the morning keeping my three kids on task for the informal birthday party we are having all of the extended family over for tonight. They have for the most part did what I needed without grumble. But then my oldest was cleaning out his backpack from last year and pulled the pictures out of the old binder to put into his this year binder. See these pictures are of him when he was little and of his biological mom. Of their first family and a woman who desperately needs Jesus. I guess I can only hope that he looks at her and prays for her. I was a little, ok a lot, upset by it. So I told him that I could give him pictures of our family to put in there. To which he replied, "I know but this is of mom and I still love her." Ouch, the realization that, Yes, and rightfully so, He still loves his mom. Regardless if he calls me Mommy or Annelise. She is still their mom and will always be. I took my own time out and chose to pray my self through the pain that I will never know that love that he has for her because I'm not Mom I am the woman that married Daddy and is there for them and is on her knees before the Lord interceding for all of them. But hey I can only continue to love them like Jesus and be an example not a stumbling block. Being a step mom is harder than I thought it would be, but worth every min.
